A great little article in the New York Times discusses a few women who are having trouble finding a man.
“I’m not married, I would like to be married, and my friends are all in a similar situation,” said Dr. Rajalla Prewitt, a 38-year-old psychiatrist in New Jersey. “We’re having difficulty finding someone where there’s a meeting of the minds, where we can have the same goals and values.”
“Particularly, African-American men who are educated want a traditional home where they are the breadwinner,” said Dr. Prewitt, who is a black woman.”
Now, I’m no genius, but it seems fairly clear to me that whatever this lady’s goals and values are, they aren’t going to help her to reproduce. So maybe, just maybe, it’s her fairly advanced years which are the turn off: after all, why get married if there is no prospect of the pitter patter of tiny feet?
But some women find that the dating pressures are intense. Syreeta McFadden, a 35-year-old Columbia and Sarah Lawrence graduate who is between jobs after working in real estate development, said: “With men of any ethnic group, it’s a little intimidating for them to encounter smart women. Money is tricky.
“But, I think for me, it comes down to compatibility,” Ms. McFadden said. “Can you grow with me? Or as my genius friend the textile designer says, she asks on first dates or meeting men in bars, ‘Do you have a passport and a library card?’ ”
Same criticism. I’m guessing her “genius friend” the textile designer doesn’t consider that maybe the guy might be put off by the fact that he turns out to be on a date with someone who is old enough or stingy enough to actually use public libraries. Can he “grow” with her as they explore the world with their passports and library cards as creaky and fading tourists of reality.
Elaine Richardson, who is in her 50s, is divorced and owns a health care consulting firm in Westchester, said that men “call you high maintenance if you look like you don’t need anyone to take care of you.”
Maybe not high maintenance now, but give it a few years…